A while back, I tried to purchase a doll online. I hadn’t been on Ebay for several years, so I hadn’t used PayPal either.
Of course, I couldn’t remember my password. When I tried to click the “reset” button, it didn’t send me an email. I hit the button about 10 times, typed in those googly letters for security. Ahhhhhh! I just wanted to pay for the doll. I tried to re-register on PayPal.
“That email is already in use.”
No kidding? Then why don’t you send me a password re-set?
I try to call.
I click on the “call me” button.
It says, “We show that you have an active email. Check your email.”
Ultimately, I gave up in utter frustration. I’m just going to start over with a new identity. I registered for a new Yahoo email address and a new PayPal account. Finally, I was able to pay for my purchase.
How does this relate to God? Well, before I knew Jesus, I had made a complete and utter mess of my life? No matter how many different ways I tried to fix it, I just made it worse. I wasn’t connected with God, so I didn’t have any help. I was trying to do it alone. Finally, one night at a Christian music concert, I surrendered God. I said, “I’m sorry God, I can don’t do this by myself any more. I give up. I need you; please forgive me.”
From that moment on, He took over and wiped my slate clean. He gave me a new name. He gave me the “access code” – J-E-S-U-S is my password. All I need to do is use HIS name. He is the ultimate PayPal. He paid the price for me to have access to God in this life, and in Heaven for eternity.
Romans 5:1-2 (The Message) "By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us — set us right with him, make us fit for him — we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise."
One day after work I was feeling a little down and dejected. I had just been notified that I didn't get a promotion that I interviewed for. I decided to go for a walk around my old elementary school to enjoy the beautiful fall colors. Perhaps it would cheer me up and get my mind off my disappointment, I thought. I put on my IPOD shuffle, and started walking. I prayed that God would speak to me.
The song, "Forever Love" by Francesca Battistelli came on as I rounded to the back side of the school. One verse says, "from the bottom of my heart I'll sing to you. From the depths of who I am I love you. With everything inside I'll run to you 'cause all that I've become I owe to you...
Right as I heard "I'll run to you," I looked up and saw a dad raking a huge pile of leaves in his front yard. His daughter (who looked to be about 6 or so) was running full speed and joyously diving into the pile. I turned around and started bawling. Just seeing a father and daughter, the little girl's trust and her joy, the way the father prepared the pile and waited for her. It was just precious. In that moment, I heard a message from God about his love for me.
So there I was, walking, and crying. The next song on the shuffle was Bethany Dillon's "All I Need". Although I'd asked a friend if she could join me, as well as my husband (who didn't feel good), it ended up being just me and God on the walk. You know what? That was enough!
Here are just some of the words of Bethany's song:
You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You're all I need...
...I hear You whisper loud
You're still the God that opens seas
Every flower, even me
You're all I need
When I started my walk, I felt down and dejected, but God lifted me up by showing me love in a simple pile of leaves.
Directions? What should I do? Where should I go? What should I say? What should I think? In the Bible study that I'm currently doing, Experiencing God, by Henry & Richard Blackaby, we are looking at the concept of how God gives directions. In the Old Testament, God uniquely spoke to His people. They knew it was God. They understood what He said. When God spoke, that was an encounter with Him.
Okay, so how do I have that kind of encounter? When God speaks to me (not audibly, but in my heart), I don't always know that it's Him. Sometimes it's just lil' ole me trying to figure things out myself. Sometimes it's my codependent people-pleasing personality trying to fix everything and everyone around me. Heck, sometimes it's just indigestion.
I'll be honest, it's not always easy for me to hear from God. Especially if I'm so busy talking (whining) that I'm not open to receive from Him. There are also times when my heart is hurting too much. I'm just too shut down. Sometimes I wish that God would come and talk to me in a burning bush like he did Moses. Or perhaps he could send an angel to sit and have some Starbucks with me face-to-face? But alas, that doesn't seem to be his plan.
Isaiah 55:8 says, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord." Yep, that's the truth. My thoughts are selfish. My thoughts are usually about getting my way, or feeding my flesh. But God's thoughts are so much higher than that!
This study is reminding me that God talks to me (and gives me directions) all the time, and in many different ways: through the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and through prayer. He also uses songs, sermons, and best of all, Godly friends. If I want directions, all I need to do is ask. And then shut up and listen.
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." Amen (Psalm 143:8)
cov·et (k v t)
v. cov·et·ed, cov·et·ing, cov·ets
1. To feel blameworthy desire for (that which is another's). See Synonyms at envy.
2. To wish for longingly.
The Bible is clear. God says we are not to covet. The green-eyed monster of envy is our enemy. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's..."(Exodus 20:17)
Some things are easy to pass up. I doubt many of us have lately coveted anyone's maidservants, donkeys or oxen. However, we do covet each others' homes, jewelry, cars, clothes, furnishings, electronics, vacations, skinny waists, spouses, well-behaved kids, and everything else under the sun. The minute we see a commercial, we want it! It's what keeps our economy going. Advertisers bank on it.
Is there really that much harm in desiring other people's possessions or apparent health, or relationships? Actually, yes, there is. Basically envy, jealousy (coveting) is flat out saying to God: "Hey, I don't like what you've given me! I want what they have." When my kids were younger, we had one cereal bowl that had a small chip on the side. Every day that bowl would end up on the table, and sure enough, the kids would fight over who got the broken bowl. Why? Because the one who didn't have it thought they wanted it. The one who got it flaunted it. It was the stupidest thing ever. Finally, I had to throw it away.
When I see myself start to covet, I think. "Do I sound like my silly kids? Am I really that unhappy with what I have?"
I have to be especially careful of things that make my covet-hungering worse. Like HGTV, for example. When I start watching house-hunters, or even worse, house-hungers international, I start to resent the fact that some people get to buy gigantic, beautiful homes - sometimes in exotic places. It's not fair! Why do they get a 6000 square foot house in the Virgin Islands? Meanwhile, I'm still just stumbling along in my 1700 square foot fixer upper.
The green-eyed monster doesn't stop at houses either. I covet other people's figures, tight butts, lack of wrinkles, etc. I covet other people's relationships all the time. The other day I was actually momentarily envious when I found out a good friend is going to become a grandma. Everyone I know is a grandma. When's my turn? I want the broken bowl...I want...I want...I want...
Today I will turn my coveting into praise. Lord, I am thankful for what I have. I will turn my heart towards you and be thankful for the abundance of things you've given me. Even if I don't have the broken bowl.
Psalm 138:7-8 (New Living Translation)
Though I am surrounded by troubles,
you will protect me from the anger of my enemies.
You reach out your hand,
and the power of your right hand saves me.
The LORD will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me.
This verse speaks oceans to me today. I got an email from someone yesterday who is greed and evil incarnate. The fact that he is a family member is irrelevant. What matters is that having contact with him makes me physically, emotionally and spiritually ill. Therefore, I choose not to have him in my life any longer. Today I’m setting a boundary. I’ve responded by telling him I no longer wish to have contact. He is waging an ugly legal battle to try and gain more of his share of our recently deceased mother’s money. That’s his choice. But I am not his ally.
God, on the other hand, is high above the Earth. He is full of might and power, and He is able to protect me from my enemies. The verse, "you reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me," makes me think of the days when cars didn’t have seat belts. If someone slammed on their breaks, Fathers and Mother’s would instinctively reach out their arm in front of their child to create a safety barrier.
I like to think that God is stretching out his arm right now, even in the midst of this trouble, and he is creating a safety barrier for me. The enemy can’t touch me when God’s arm is surrounding me. Thank you, Father, for you love and protection.
"The tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire..." (James 3:6)
I got an email from Amazon today. I put in an order weeks ago and hadn't gotten it. The message read: "A shipment from your order has been returned to our fulfillment center as undeliverable..."
Some dribble about problems with my mailing address. I have no idea what the issue could be; after all, I order books regularly from Amazon and have NEVER had any trouble. I almost hit the reply button and started to type:
Dear Idiots! What the h....is your problem? You have my money! Give me my books, NOW!!! I know, I know. That would have been rude. Luckily I didn't type it, or send it. Especially given the fact that the order consisted of:
ESV Compact Bible (TruTone, Wild Rose, Floral Design)
Devotions for a Sacred Marriage: A Year of Weekly Devotions for Couples.
Sheesh, that would have been just great, huh? Jesus said, if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. How about cutting off your fingers so you can't type? What we write, type, or say with our tongue. It's all the same. They can ALL be a fire burning out of control.
Lord, help me to control my tongue - as well as what I type. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight. Amen (Psalm 19:14)
Family is, well, complicated to say the least. Why? Because the people we LOVE the most have the power to hurt us the deepest. Family members can push our buttons like no one else can. And with day-to-day annoyances, misunderstandings, hurts and frustration going on while living in close proximity to each other, let's face it, some days it's hard to love our families. Especially the way Jesus wants us to.
"My command is this," he says, "love each other in the same way I have loved you." (John 15:12-13)
That's so tough to do! Especially when some of our family members are teens or young adults, and they are walking all over our boundaries. Do you ever get tempted to take scripture out of context and twist it to suit your own emotions? I know I do. How about Luke 14:26? "If anyone comes to me and does NOT hate his father and mother, his wife and CHILDREN, his brothers and sisters...he cannot be my disciple..." There you go. If we take Christ's words out of context, we can justify hating those annoying little buggers. (Though that wasn't really what he meant; he was talking in a broader sense about being wiling to leave everything - and everyone behind - to follow him). But back to feeling hate. Hate's easy. It just pops up and rears it's ugly head as soon as we let our guard down.
Love, on the other hand, that takes a lot of work!
In The Necessary Enemy, Katherine Anne Porter points out that "Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it. Hate needs no instruction, but waits only to be provoked."
So how can we practice love? Here's the famous recipe according to 1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Well, that's it I guess. Love never gives up, especially on family...(even though they are a pain in our butts!) Lord, your word promises that all things are possible in your strength. Please help me to not only love my family, but to be loving towards them in my thoughts, words and actions as well. Amen
2 Corinthians 3:18 ~ "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit"
Many people believe that the more time we spend with someone, the more we start looking and acting like them. Can it be true? Do married people really begin to look like their spouses as the years go by?
An even more hilarious idea is the notion that some people begin to look like their dogs!
Although the above photos make me chuckle, I like this idea even better: the more I spend time with God, the more I am transformed into HIS likeness. Now there's something to aspire to. God's characteristics are amazing. For starters, he is perpetually loving. Add to that patient, good, and merciful. He is also gentle, righteous, just, faithful, perfect and holy...the list is as endless as he is.
If only I could possess some of those qualities!
Lord, please continue to help me look like you! May you transform me into your likeness with ever-increasing glory. Amen
Exodus 5:10-14: “Then the slave drivers and the overseers went out and said to the people, “This is what Pharaoh says: ‘I will not give you any more straw. Go and get your own straw wherever you can find it, but your work will not be reduced at all.'
The slave drivers kept pressing them, saying, “Complete the work required of you for each day, just as when you had straw.” And Pharaoh’s slave drivers beat the Israelite overseers they had appointed, demanding, “Why haven’t you met your quota of bricks yesterday or today, as before?”
This verse is especially telling because someone I love is quite overwhelmed in his job today. It’s actually been ongoing for a very long time. The slave drivers keep beating him down more and more. What’s worse, I’m helpless to fix or change it. He wants to run. He wants to quit. Pharaoh is just asking for the impossible. He’s trying to squeeze blood from a turnip …
I’m looking into God’s Word for some hope that I can offer this individual. David cried out to the Lord, “I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am faithful to you. Save your servant who trusts in you...when I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me." (Psalm 86)
That’s the answer! David was able to survive when everything around him was “caving” in - both literally and figuratively - because he called out to God during his distress. His life was in peril when King Saul was hurling spears at him, then chasing him into the desert. Later, David’s heart was shattered to pieces when he fled from his own son, Absolom. Yet, David cried out to God. He clung to Him for his very life.
This complete dependence on God is reflected In Michael W. Smith’s song, "This Is The Air I Breathe."
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread
this is my daily bread
your very word spoken to me
And I I'm desperate for you
And I I'm lost without you
Today I pray that the one I love will depend on God like that. I pray he will desperately seek his heavenly father like the very air he breathes. Even if God doesn’t choose to ease the crazy, impossible demands of the slave drivers right now, I know that God will provide much-needed protection, and healing and peace.
In Psalm 63:8, King David told God, "My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." This is a pretty amazing statement given that David penned it while running through the desert from his son, Absolom, who was hunting him down with plans to kill him.
Linda Dillow (author of A Deeper Kind of Calm, the book my women's Bible study is reading right now) asks us to remember a time when we experienced "clinging," and to describe those feelings. Well here's an example of NOT clinging:
When I was five years old, I was at my friend Sandy's house down the street, playing on her backyard swing. I was doing what all children do on swings: leaning back, pumping my legs, and looking up at the sky. "If you let go," her older brother, Larry, said, "you can fly!"
Me being the gullible idiot I was, I let go. Bam. That hard ground felt like cement. A burning pain seared through my body. After I caught my breath, I began to cry. In fact, I walked home, crying all the way. My collar bone was broken. But what's worse, my trust in people was broken too.
What was going on inside that 5-year-old head of mine? Who knows. But one thing I do know is that if I had held on tight (and clinged) to that chain swing, I would have kept soaring higher and higher. I wouldn't have been hurt. I would have been free and happy. Instead, I chose to listen to - and believe - in the world's lies.
"Let go...and you can do this ...on your own..."
Lord, please help me to ignore those lies. Help me cling to You with all my strength. I know You will never steer you wrong or let me fall. Amen
I read Psalm 65 today, and was overwhelmed by how good God is to us. This "harvest Psalm", written by David, glorifies God (the Creator) through reflections of nature. Nature helps us understand God's character. It shows His generosity. He gives us more than we could ever need or deserve.
"O God, our Savior, the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest seas, who formed the mountains by your power...
who stilled the roaring of the sea...
those living far away fear your wonders; where morning dawns and evening fades, you call forth songs of joy...
You care for the land and water it, you enrich it abundantly. The streams of God are filled with water...
You drench its furrows...You soften it with showers ...
You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance...
the grasslands of the desert overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness...
the meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing."
It just doesn't get any better than that. David was definitely a "nature" guy. After all, he spent his formative years shepherding sheep. I love what he later wrote about gratitude: "because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of food." (Psalm 63:3-5)
Lord, your love is the only thing that truly satisfies. Help me to eat, drink and breath your love, your presence, and your abundant blessings. Help me to be completely satisfied in You, Amen
The other day I was trying to do my Bible study at the computer. Unfortunately, there was a very big, very noisy fly buzzing over my head that would not leave me alone! Back and forth from the lamp to the window he went. Finally, in desperation, I got a fly swatter. I sat perched in the chair - ammunition cocked just waiting for him to swoop past me. Here he comes…swat … miss…there he went!
Now he was in the lamp. But he was just too fast. It was like he was on methamphetamines or something. Zigging and zaggain, zigging and zagging! I kept swatting. Swat. Miss. Swat. Miss. After about 15 minutes, I sat back down and took a deep breath. In desperation, I prayed, “Lord, please help me kill this fly so that I can get back to my study.”
Soon, I heard the fly again. This time I just blindly swatted in the air above a high bookshelf. I’m pretty sure I got him. I couldn’t see his carcass, but the buzzing stopped. Finally, I was able to get back to my study.
So what did I learn from this crazy encounter? Mainly that the enemy of our souls wants nothing more than to distract us when we are trying to read God's Word. If he can get our minds, eyes, and ears off of what God is saying, then the battle is won. What's worse, Satan wants to make us crazy - swatting, reaching, grabbing for everything under the sun except God.
Are there other things distracting me today from studying God's Word? Perhaps it's Facebook, or email, TV, or my cell phone. I need to "kill off" all those pesky flies and quiet my mind so I can hear what God is trying to tell me. First, let me just check my email one more time, though ....
When I was very young, I had numerous allergies. My mother said that I was congested all the time, so my parents did the only thing they could think of: they took away anything that made the allergies worse. Basically, my bedroom was a crib, wood floors, and a dresser. Anything that could possibly carry dust was removed, as were soft things filled with stuffing. No stuffed animals. No soft blankets. No pillow. I had a gate in the doorway to lock me in.
I actually have an early memory of standing at the gate, looking through the bars at the family gathered in the other room. I wanted to be there with everyone else, but I couldn’t because I was “quarantined.” I don’t know how long it lasted. Eventually, my allergies dissipated. All except for dust. As an adult, when I vacuum and clean, I constantly have to blow my nose and sneeze. (So, I can legitimately say that I am allergic to house work!)
When I look back at that little girl behind the gate, I distinctly remember that I hated feeling left out. I hated being a “have not.” Perhaps the fact that I couldn’t have soft things THEN explains why I NOW love my fleece bathrobe, slippers, socks, and blanket NOW. The fuzzier, the better!
Even though I didn’t like it at the time, the things my parents kept away from me were for my own good. I’m pretty sure that’s why God has chosen to keep material things away from me as well. I’ve never had a fancy house, clothes, toys, jewelry, bling, etc. I’m kind of a simple girl, I suppose. God knew that if I had too much of that “stuff” I would be too obsessed with it. I’m not sure why he surrounded me with friends who were well off, though. All through middle and high school I hung out with “rich kids” who lived in Carmichael along the American River. Yikes! talk about being on the other side of the gate.
But you know what? It’s okay. I know that God wants more for me that just a material girl. He wants me to be appreciative, thoughtful, compassionate, and deeply committed to Him. If I were to win the lottery or come into some serious money, I’d go downhill in a millisecond. Money wouldn’t be an allergy; it would be an all-out tornado that would suck me into it’s vortex! God knows that, and I trust Him.
So, today I will say thank you, Lord, for giving me a simple, blessed life filled with You, my family and friends. Those are the “things” that matter most to me. And my fuzzy slippers. As long as I surround myself with these things, I am a happy and content girl.
“Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Luke 12:34)
