Jesus Is My Pay Pal

A while back, I tried to purchase a doll online. I hadn’t been on Ebay for several years, so I hadn’t used PayPal either.

Of course, I couldn’t remember my password. When I tried to click the “reset” button, it didn’t send me an email. I hit the button about 10 times, typed in those googly letters for security. Ahhhhhh! I just wanted to pay for the doll. I tried to re-register on PayPal.
“That email is already in use.”
No kidding? Then why don’t you send me a password re-set?
I try to call.
I click on the “call me” button.
It says, “We show that you have an active email. Check your email.”

Ultimately, I gave up in utter frustration. I’m just going to start over with a new identity. I registered for a new Yahoo email address and a new PayPal account. Finally, I was able to pay for my purchase.

How does this relate to God? Well, before I knew Jesus, I had made a complete and utter mess of my life? No matter how many different ways I tried to fix it, I just made it worse. I wasn’t connected with God, so I didn’t have any help. I was trying to do it alone. Finally, one night at a Christian music concert, I surrendered God. I said, “I’m sorry God, I can don’t do this by myself any more. I give up. I need you; please forgive me.”

From that moment on, He took over and wiped my slate clean. He gave me a new name. He gave me the “access code” – J-E-S-U-S is my password. All I need to do is use HIS name. He is the ultimate PayPal. He paid the price for me to have access to God in this life, and in Heaven for eternity.

Romans 5:1-2 (The Message) "By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us — set us right with him, make us fit for him — we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise."

Finding Love In A Pile Of Leaves

One day after work I was feeling a little down and dejected.  I had just been notified that I didn't get a promotion that I interviewed for.  I decided to go for a walk around my old elementary school to enjoy the beautiful fall colors. Perhaps it would cheer me up and get my mind off my disappointment, I thought.  I put on my IPOD shuffle, and started walking. I prayed that God would speak to me.

The song, "Forever Love" by Francesca Battistelli came on as I rounded to the back side of the school. One verse says, "from the bottom of my heart I'll sing to you. From the depths of who I am I love you. With everything inside I'll run to you 'cause all that I've become I owe to you...

Right as I heard "I'll run to you," I looked up and saw a dad raking a huge pile of leaves in his front yard. His daughter (who looked to be about 6 or so) was running full speed and joyously diving into the pile. I turned around and started bawling. Just seeing a father and daughter, the little girl's trust and her joy, the way the father prepared the pile and waited for her. It was just precious. In that moment, I heard a message from God about his love for me.

So there I was, walking, and crying.  The next song on the shuffle was Bethany Dillon's "All I Need". Although I'd asked a friend if she could join me, as well as my husband (who didn't feel good), it ended up being just me and God on the walk.  You know what? That was enough!

Here are just some of the words of Bethany's song:

You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You're all I need...

...I hear You whisper loud
You're still the God that opens seas
Every flower, even me
You're all I need

When I started my walk, I felt down and dejected, but God lifted me up by showing me love in a simple pile of leaves.